You might say "this guy has a great attitude with all his headaches" because this photo does have a "nice day", "smiley face" aspect to it. From my point of view it would have been cool if I had forgotten about this picture of myself smiling with a blue sky above me and flower petals below me. The problem is I have no memory of this event. None. At the time this was taken I was in a tremendous amount of pain and unbeknownst to myself I was being poisoned by the medicine I was taking for my chronic pain. I mention this because I have seen some pain "support" blogs out there that promote what a great attitude the blogger has and everyone else should follow suit. Some of these "helpers" have inadvertently participated in a subtle form of patient abuse. A fellow pain sufferer confides that they don't know how long they can stand this pain and that they have contemplated the "s" word. The self appointed chronic pain guru responds that she shouldn't say such things that life is such a precious gift. And then comes the sinker ball that ends up high and tight, "You should be thankful you can walk... Look at all those people that are bed ridden... Do you hear them complaining?" We can send mixed messages... "If you feel like the 'S" word call the "s" word hotline" and then out of the same mouth we say "don't say such things". So the pain patient is confused - "I'm not supposed to keep this to myself and I'm not supposed to maintain a secret but I'm not supposed to talk about my desperation from being in pain 24 hours a day, 365 or 366 (no leap year discrimination on this blog) days a year. Then what happens is you feel incredibly isolated because most people are addicted to this word: OK.
"Is everything OK?" And the obligitory answer that must include puppy like nodding of the head is "Sure Is", "Yes". If you say no people will freak on you. Try it sometime just for giggles. Then starts the campaign to show you that everything is "OK". You will feel like a felon by the time they are done with you.
So for this blog: Some Sunshine and Some Rain and not a fantasy world where you have to be where people want you to be.
Stay True To Yourself and don't Let People Tell You How To Feel
To be clear: I am not saying that suicidal thoughts are cool. If you feel that way you should seek professional help. What I am saying is that people in pain are looking for ways to not be in so much pain. And many times they are not taken seriously or they are misunderstood.
ReplyDelete